A former semi-pro footballer and fireman has decided to take on a different fight by setting up an initiative that helps people with their mental health.
Matt Hayden, 33, from Great Barton, has scored FA cup goals for teams like Histon and played with former Norwich striker Grant Holt at Wroxham in the past.
He now juggles football whilst working for the Cambridgeshire Fire and Rescue Service.
But after losing good friends to mental health issues and having personal struggles of his own, away from the pitch and the fire service, the former personal trainer is keen to work with schools, colleges and businesses by having conversations around mental health.
Matt has therefore launched an initiative designed to introduce new ways of thinking, self-reflection and emotional awareness by setting up a company called The Quiet Conversation.
(Matt will be touring schools in Suffolk to try and help as many young people and adults as he can, and he put on his first event at Suffolk New College on Wednesday, 29 April.
He said: “Unfortunately, I have known people who I have grown up with who are sadly no longer with us.
“I’ve also had my own difficulties where I’ve been through breakups and childhood trauma – and I started to self-reflect.
“This spurred me on to write, and I have gradually learnt to manage my emotions. I started writing powerful poems and have been slowly setting up an initiative to help others through difficult times, using some of my poems as a starting point as it helps people relate to me.
He continued: “My message is all about trying to help for young people become aware of emotions, to not push them down and to understand where they could come from and how improving their overall emotional intelligence can positively impact them, both educationally and in every walk of life. We all have the voice in our heads that either encourages us, holds us back or says things we don’t actually understand enough to say out loud correctly. So I’ll be talking about this.
“I also think that when we are adults, we feel we should have everything all figured out – but that is not the case at all. No one really teaches you how to manage your emotions growing up.
“So, I have learnt to use poetry and writing to share my story and try and help others become more self-aware, empathetic and improve their social skills – as these skills I believe are the fundamentals of life.”
Before Matt’s talk, staff and students took part in a basketball match – promoting the idea that sport is an important part of wellbeing. Students won the match by 20 points.
Matt – who has a degree in sports science and is just about to begin a degree in psychology – is also keen to discourage others from thinking that being macho is magic after watching the polarising Louis Theroux documentary called Manosphere.
He said: “I also touch on the subject of toxic masculinity. I just don’t understand how some people can see that (being masculine) is seen by some people as normality. I have a daughter myself, and it was a struggle to watch that (Louis Theroux) documentary.”
Matt added: “I’m trialling these talks in Suffolk – but the aim is to go national with this. I want to help as many people as I can across the country.”
Lee Mandley is Director of Service Industries and Science at Suffolk New College. He said: “We were delighted to be the first college to receive a talk from Matt. Student well-being is one of our top priorities (along with their progression) so the fact that Matt has chosen to do his first talk with us is a perfect fit.
“I used to teach Matt and have seen his career flourish since completing his degree. The fact that he wants to help others on such important topics such as mental health is inspiring.
“These topics aren’t always easy to talk about, but we feel Matt’s revolutionary take on these subjects will have a positive impact on everyone who hears him.”
Reflecting on the talk, Brian Chitumba, 19, from Ipswich, is on a level 3 sports coaching course at the college. He said, “It was good that Matt talked to the youth about that (mental health and expressing yourself). The youth go through anxiety, not knowing what it is or what they are feeling. So, it’s good for Matt to come down and speak to us.”
Isaac Shaw, 17, from Kesgrave, also enjoyed the talk. The sports student said, “I feel like it was inspirational to talk to the younger generation, and he has allowed us to feel that we can express ourselves to people if we are upset or feeling down.”
Danielle Lucas is a health and social care lecturer at Suffolk New College. She said: “The younger generation need to hear what he was talking about – especially around emotions. He talked about empathy and putting yourself in other people’s shoes. I think a lot of students will reflect on that.
“The group related to what he was talking about, and I think Suffolk New College is absolutely being quite visionary when it comes to confronting topics like toxic masculinity and mental health.”
Matt’s organisation is called The Quiet Conversation – if you would like to book a session or contact Matt about his company, you can email: thequietconversation.uk@gmail.com